Hands are not for hitting? really?

What the hell are hands for then?  I'm sure thats what my kids think everytime i say that.  I still say it to my ten year old.  when he gets into one of his rages, and he's hitting me, i try my dambest to keep my calm, and through my teeth in the best sing songy voice i have i reapeat over and over "hands are not for hitting, that hurts me."  You know what he says to that?  "I don't give a shit you fat ass."  I mean really?  did my ten year old really just say that?  It truly brakes my heart, but it's also pisses me off, so then i end up half screaming in his ear, "hands are really NOT for HITTING!!!" Eventually he will calm down and cry and say sorry, but ooww!  That boy is strong.  He is really a sweet boy,. He is truly night and day, or as his psyciatrist sais bi-polar.  But when he's being nice he is the best kid anyone could ask for, the kind of kid you wish was yours.  But when he is in a rage, woowwww watch out!  a tiger comes out.  A mean angry tiger!Poor guy, can you imagine haveing that amount of rage in you and and at sucha young age?  i feel for him.  My boy i ♥ him!
     But back to the task at hand, Hands are not for hitting.  I am so sick of saying that!  so sick of it.  I mean really why can't my two year old just not whack his sister in the face?  So i walk over to him, take him by the hands bend down to his level, and say "look at mommy," thats another good one.  look at mommy but we'll get there.  So i wait till he looks at me while i'm talking and i gently say " hands are not for hitting"  to where he says no hitting"  you might think that at this point i might jump up and down with pride and joy.  I mean he gets it right?  no hitting!  he said it! the world is right agian.  But no because as soon as i tell him to go say sorry to his sister, he says it and then hits her agian.  to where she hits him back.  so now what!  i could just tell her good job he totally deserved it.  he keeps hitting you so hit him back!  But then what kind of a kid am i raising?  So i put Him in a time out and i speak to her and let her know that no matter what "hands are not for hitting" and she can always come to me if someone hits her and i will take care of it.
     I always wonder how this generation of kids is going to turn out.  My generation, we were spanked and told to hit when necissary.  We didn't get told why we can't do things like throw balls in the house.  We didn't do it because our parents would spank us, or get sent in our rooms for hours!  Now we as parents see our kids throwing a ball in the house and we sweetly say, "we don't throw balls in the house it could break my picture frames or knock over the vase.  that would be sad."  And then what? we give them another chance to see if they can throw the ball quieter until something breaks and then we take it away.  I really hope this generation comes out alright.