Sometimes I feel like a child. I just want to stomp my feet and scream it’s not fair!!! Cause it’s not. Life is so not fair. Whether it’s not being able to have a turn on the swings at the very second you want one, or if it’s the fact that all of my children have lost a parent. Each one of them. That’s not fair! They are all loved so much but still the loss will always leave a scar on their heart. Knowing that your biological parent either couldn’t have you, or didn’t want you? My heart breaks everyday for my babies. “It’s not fair” I want to scream at the world. To bring pain to my kids. How dare they. Those biological parents. They make me so angry sometimes. Today especially. Somedays I rationalize all of it. The kids are better off this way, with two parents that love them so wholly and unconditionally. But somedays it boils my blood to think that these people are out there living there lives, with new people and new kids. Why do they get to do that? Why do the next kids get feel the touch of their bio-parents hand and not my child. It’s not fair!!! So when my four year old cries because it was her turn next on the slide and someone cut in front, I will feel her pain, cause that’s really not fair! And it will take some serious strength not to rip that child of the slide and let them know that my daughter was next.
P.S. Feeling kind of pissy today
