Please don't eat so fast

So when we are at the dinner table, my kids are PIGS!  all kids are.  but mine seem to make grunting noises, and have wet food flying around the table out of their mouths.  My biggest thing at dinner is to tell the kids they need to slow down, which is almost always followed up with some remark from them like " I am" or " ok mom" so then i have to swallow the vomit erupting in my belly from watching chewed wet food fly toward me in slow motion.  " Don't talk with food in your mouth, EEWWWEE"  They laugh, cause i say eewwee, but i'm not laughing.  am i not seeing some humor that some nicer mom might see.  I love the sound of a kids laugh as much as the next chick, but i truly hate the sound of laughter mixed with food.  so gross.  And i hate it even more now.  I started weight watchers so i'm constantly coveting other peoples food.  I will make a kick ass meatloaf with A1, and cheese oh mama, and i get to watch my kids and husband make mouth love to it while i get a smart one for 6 points.  I could have an ounce of the delicious meatloaf for 6 points, but what a horrible tease!

Ok. So it's been forever since I have blogged anything. Mostly because i feel like i need to be cute and witty all the time. It's really time I get back into the swing of things witty or not. so I'm going to start with my kids ages. Jack is 2, Aaron is 4, Nariyah is 5, and Baily is 12! Wow when your a new mom and everyone comes unto you saying enjoy them, cause it goes by so fast. Well let me tell you it really does. It feels like yesterday I was living In a one bedroom apartment with my little Baily. It's funny where life takes you. At just 17 I had a baby and a crappy apartment and an even crappier car.
So the past two weeks I have been taking this parenting class. It's all about development through play, and positive parenting. I love it! But I feel like I already do everything that the teacher is telling us to try to do. Not to toot my own horn, but I guess I'm the perfect parent. Ummmmmm NO!! Parenting 4 kids is the hardest thing I can think of, and I have a wonderful partner in this too. But back to what the teacher is saying. Like let the child lead in play time. I do that. Mostly cause I'm cleaning around them while they are playing. Or (sad to admit this) playing with my dumb smart phone. I really need to put that stupid thing down and listen better. That's my next week resolution. Only use my phone as a phone. HHMMMMMM. Let's see how this goes. I guess that's the thing. I complain that the kids grow up to fast and then when we are supposed to be making memories, I'm cleaning or on my phone. So I will relax and let my kids lead me through play. I need to enjoy them, cause it all goes by so fast.

We are family!

“We are a family” is what I hear myself saying a lot lately. Like when my eleven year old yells at my four year old, for sitting next to him on the couch. I know, I know, it’s sibling stuff, normal, right? But I hate it. If we teach our children to be kind and respectful to complete strangers, then why don’t we teach kindness and patience on our home? I am so guilty of being the mom that yells from across the playground “stop putting sand in your sisters underwear”!!! only to get the stink eye from the mom with only one perfect little child. I guess in a way I feel bad for that child. He can’t poor sand down anyone’s pants, and no one to poor it down his. How boring is that? My kids although they fight, they will always have someone to play with. Someone to poor sand down their pants. Someone to wipe boogers on. Someone to help you climb on top of the dresser to get the entire pack of wipes‘. Someone to snuggle with when you feel sad. My kids will always have that.

So when Aaron my 3 year old hits his sister who is 4, I tell him that we are all family, and we are always going to have each other. We will always need to be there for one another. So use your hands for being a helper not a hitter. And usually he will he will say sorry and rub her booboo. And then he will share his toys. I really try to drive home the fact that forever and ever they will need each other, so be kind and respectful to each other. And please don’t put sand in places it shouldn’t be. ♥ 

let clean up our toys please.......for the eighth time

O.K. so as adults picking up our things comes kind of natural, ( unless you’re a man) Just kidding. But it does come natural to a point. As adults when we get out of the shower we hang up our towel, and put out dirty clothes in the hamper. Or when your done eating you put your dishes in the sink. It’s natural. You know that no one is there to pick up after you and if you let the towel stay on the floor it will get really stinky really quick. But to children on the other hand it does not come natural. In fact it’s just the opposite. A kid will fight tooth and nail not to pick anything up….EVER!
So tonight I am making my usual nightly rounds of dishes, laundry, vacuum, mop and I notice, hard not to, that there is about 150 legos all over my living room floor. Now I know I should be more observant, but dinner laundry and kids got in my way. So I say “who did this”? to my surprise my husband answer, “ Oh Aaron did that like a half hour ago”. so I stare at him dumbfounded. “ you idiot I want to yell at him. Why aren’t they cleaned up. Why must it always be up to me? But I cant say that to him. I love him. So I do ask “well why didn’t you make him clean them up?” I get this look like the one I was just giving him. So now we’re standing there looking stupidly at each other. He says, “ I was busy playing with the kids.” I wanted to slap him so hard. He is a grown man and he didn’t think to clean up his toys. I take a deep breath because I don’t want to yell at my husband in front of my kids. Do you guys think we could clean them up now I need to vacuum. So he gets all the kids involved and they all clean up. Now all of this probably took a minute if that, but it’s the whole friggin idea that no matter what for the absolute rest of my life I will have to be asking someone to clean up after themselves. Really? A grown man can’t even think to clean up never mind my kids.
I want to pack up what’s necessary, with my family and move to some tropical island. We will live in a hut on the beach and sell coconuts to tourists. I can home school, and we will live off the land. I wont have to remind anyone to cleanup toys, because they will not have them here. They will have seashells, and sticks and coconut shells. And what am I going to say “ pick up all the seashells off the front sand dune.” no I wont cause It will be paradise. Heath will never be stressed out from work, and I will relax in the sand everyday with my brown babies and my red 11 year old. Ohh doesn’t it sound divine? No need for bras or pants or any of that. When you go to a party you will never have to ask what is the attire? What else would it be? Your bathing suit and a sarong. Hello!?! It’s frickin paradise.
But we all know none of us will do that. No one has the Gaul to pack up and go, it’s so scary out there. Out in the unknown, where would you live? What if everyone there hated you? What if no one liked your coconuts? That is what kids feel everyday. Everyday is unknown for kids, what is the boy in class is mean again. When will I get a glass of milk next, when is dinner? Why do I have to pick up my toys? Parenting is all about taking a step back and realizing that kids are unsure about everything. They don’t know when dinner is because they cant’ tell time, and if you say few minutes they don’t know how long that is, so they will just keep asking. They don’t understand why they have to clean up their toys, they just know its boring. So as parents we need to do a lot of explaining and talking and nurturing, and loving and hugging and kisses, and calming, and reassuring to our kids that we are hear for them, to listen to them even if they aren’t getting the right question across. "when is dinner"? isn't just that, it's my tummy hurts and i'm really hungry and what is a few minutes?  well i'm going to try to listen to the real question next time.  and not get upset when they ask over and over agian.......I siad i'll try

It's not fair, Well no i guess it's not

Sometimes I feel like a child. I just want to stomp my feet and scream it’s not fair!!! Cause it’s not. Life is so not fair. Whether it’s not being able to have a turn on the swings at the very second you want one, or if it’s the fact that all of my children have lost a parent. Each one of them. That’s not fair! They are all loved so much but still the loss will always leave a scar on their heart. Knowing that your biological parent either couldn’t have you, or didn’t want you? My heart breaks everyday for my babies. “It’s not fair” I want to scream at the world. To bring pain to my kids. How dare they. Those biological parents. They make me so angry sometimes. Today especially. Somedays I rationalize all of it. The kids are better off this way, with two parents that love them so wholly and unconditionally. But somedays it boils my blood to think that these people are out there living there lives, with new people and new kids. Why do they get to do that? Why do the next kids get feel the touch of their bio-parents hand and not my child. It’s not fair!!! So when my four year old cries because it was her turn next on the slide and someone cut in front, I will feel her pain, cause that’s really not fair! And it will take some serious strength not to rip that child of the slide and let them know that my daughter was next.











P.S. Feeling kind of pissy today

Slides are for going down not up

That's always really been the rules of the playground. Right? you go down the slide run to the back wait in line, if your naughty cut in line, climb up the ladder and go down again. then you always have some rule breakers who run full speed like their life depends on it up the slide. That child almost always seems to be my child. the one running for their life up the slide. So here I come waddling my fat ass on stubby legs, usually sweating, and say in my nicest voice, "we go down the slide not up the slide". then I usually get a blank stare. HELLO? I want to yell at them "did you not hear me? get off the damn slide now!" but I resist with all of my being. "you need to go down so everyone can have a turn" I coach "come on now" This is almost always followed up with a big pouty lip and a grunt and a grudgingly slide down. At this point I turn around to see perfect mothers in their size 4 gap jeans watching their perfect children waiting patently at the top of the slide. They smile at me, but wouldn't even make eye contact. What the hell? like my kid just pooed on the slide or something. it wasn't that bad. he ran up the slide. I feel like putting on my best snob face and letting one of the mother know that her other daughter is very busy shoving her finger up her nose in hopes of pulling out the "big one" just to pop it into her mouth. yummy. But of course I don’t, kids are kids. and kids are fun, and kids are boogey, and kids are sweaty and kids are germy, and kids are innocent, and kids are sweet, and loving, and FUN! I think as parents we are sooo worried about what our children look like to other people. I am so guilty of this. I constantly am correcting my children then turning to the nearest persona and apologizing for whatever action seemed so bad at the time. But they are just kids. we need to let our children be children sometimes. "Yes" I will say to my kids "Run up that slide, cause if you don't an alligator might eat your toes! But wait until no one is waiting at the top." kids need the gentle correction with lots of opportunity to have fun being kids. All to soon kids will grow up and need to get jobs and pay bills, and ewe be adults. If we don't let kids get the childhood fun they need then when they are in their thirties they are going to revert to being a child and try to justify it by saying I didn't have much of a childhood growing up, it's my time. and they are going to leave their wife and kids in the dust. maybe we can totally eliminate mid-life crisis if we give our kids some room. Maybe I’ll try it. give my kids some time and chances to fall and get hurt and have lots of FUN!

Lets use our indoor voice =|

So it's four in the afternoon and my husband just walks in the door after a full day at work. And I feel like a kid, it's like the best thing that has happened all day, an actual adult has willingly walked into the madhouse. and soon really soon I will be able to talk to him. I really cant wait. so first I have to wait for the kids to scream "daddy daddy" "guess what I did today" or " mommy didn't let me do this or that" like I’m the bad guy for not letting my four year old scramble off into the woods alone, oh sorry not alone, but with her favorite doll. So I wait my turn and after wading through 4 kids that are still hanging on him he gets to me. It's like gold, I don't want to let it out of my sight! so I know I can't bombard him with all the boring endless details of the day all at once. In fact I can't talk to him about anything because all the kids are still yelling nonsense at him. Well not nonsense to them but I’ve heard it all already, I lived through it today, so I really don't want to hear about our horrible poo in the carpet incident again. So in a loud yet nice voice I say lets all use our indoor voices, your hurting my ears. Silence! WOW...it's amazing. for half a millisecond. yup that’s about how long that lasts. so they all start up louder than before. Oh how it's driving me crazy, plus I have a hundred things I need to talk to heath about and I need to start dinner, and switch the laundry, and clean off the table, and I can feel dirt on my floors, and what’s that smell, is that poop again how many times a day can a baby poo? It all feels so overwhelming not to mention the fact that I have the smallest darkest kitchen EVER! "ENOUGH" I yell. claustrophobia took over for a minute. why would anyone want to come home to this. I know I look like holy hell, and the kids are only half dressed. "Go Play NOW!" this to them is like saying go pull your toe nail out. My 10 year old urgghhh's and goes off, my four year old drops her head and slowly mopes off to her room, my two year old runs in circles yelling "no, no, no" and my 1 year old is still pawing at heaths leg to be picked up. The two year old will eventually run off to play. so this I can deal with. I turn to heath who is looking at me like a pathetic mental patient and I self consciously fix my hair. Do I look that bad? what is he seeing? Poor guy. so I start to tell him the important news of the day like the poo in the carpet only my side of it, and he hands me the baby. What the hell. I've been holding him all damn day. He bends sown gives me a kiss and retreats into the bedroom to change and then to the bathroom to do his manly clean up of himself. he's been in the house ten minutes and he gets to hide already. now by this time like clockwork I can hear the kids wrestling in the living room, and I know I have to moderate or it will only turn into an all out brawl. My head hurts, and the kids are screaming, they are having fun, and laughing with each other, which is so nice but they are all sooo loud. "use our indoor voice, and got off the T.V.!!! the last part came out as a yell. oopps. When heath feels like emerging which isn't long I’m sure it just seems that way. like when your in a disaster, and it seems like hours till the police get there but it was really only five minutes. That’s what it feels like. When he walks through the door it's like I can clock out. only I can't. Mom's can't clock out. we are supposed to keep smiling and using our sweet indoor voices to talk to the kids about what they should and shouldn't be doing. or our husbands look at us like we are an overworked crazy hot mess. and we might be, but who wants to look like that? not this gal.  So I try hard to use my indoor voice.  Yeah lets see how well that works.