O.K. so as adults picking up our things comes kind of natural, ( unless you’re a man) Just kidding. But it does come natural to a point. As adults when we get out of the shower we hang up our towel, and put out dirty clothes in the hamper. Or when your done eating you put your dishes in the sink. It’s natural. You know that no one is there to pick up after you and if you let the towel stay on the floor it will get really stinky really quick. But to children on the other hand it does not come natural. In fact it’s just the opposite. A kid will fight tooth and nail not to pick anything up….EVER!
So tonight I am making my usual nightly rounds of dishes, laundry, vacuum, mop and I notice, hard not to, that there is about 150 legos all over my living room floor. Now I know I should be more observant, but dinner laundry and kids got in my way. So I say “who did this”? to my surprise my husband answer, “ Oh Aaron did that like a half hour ago”. so I stare at him dumbfounded. “ you idiot I want to yell at him. Why aren’t they cleaned up. Why must it always be up to me? But I cant say that to him. I love him. So I do ask “well why didn’t you make him clean them up?” I get this look like the one I was just giving him. So now we’re standing there looking stupidly at each other. He says, “ I was busy playing with the kids.” I wanted to slap him so hard. He is a grown man and he didn’t think to clean up his toys. I take a deep breath because I don’t want to yell at my husband in front of my kids. Do you guys think we could clean them up now I need to vacuum. So he gets all the kids involved and they all clean up. Now all of this probably took a minute if that, but it’s the whole friggin idea that no matter what for the absolute rest of my life I will have to be asking someone to clean up after themselves. Really? A grown man can’t even think to clean up never mind my kids.
I want to pack up what’s necessary, with my family and move to some tropical island. We will live in a hut on the beach and sell coconuts to tourists. I can home school, and we will live off the land. I wont have to remind anyone to cleanup toys, because they will not have them here. They will have seashells, and sticks and coconut shells. And what am I going to say “ pick up all the seashells off the front sand dune.” no I wont cause It will be paradise. Heath will never be stressed out from work, and I will relax in the sand everyday with my brown babies and my red 11 year old. Ohh doesn’t it sound divine? No need for bras or pants or any of that. When you go to a party you will never have to ask what is the attire? What else would it be? Your bathing suit and a sarong. Hello!?! It’s frickin paradise.
But we all know none of us will do that. No one has the Gaul to pack up and go, it’s so scary out there. Out in the unknown, where would you live? What if everyone there hated you? What if no one liked your coconuts? That is what kids feel everyday. Everyday is unknown for kids, what is the boy in class is mean again. When will I get a glass of milk next, when is dinner? Why do I have to pick up my toys? Parenting is all about taking a step back and realizing that kids are unsure about everything. They don’t know when dinner is because they cant’ tell time, and if you say few minutes they don’t know how long that is, so they will just keep asking. They don’t understand why they have to clean up their toys, they just know its boring. So as parents we need to do a lot of explaining and talking and nurturing, and loving and hugging and kisses, and calming, and reassuring to our kids that we are hear for them, to listen to them even if they aren’t getting the right question across. "when is dinner"? isn't just that, it's my tummy hurts and i'm really hungry and what is a few minutes? well i'm going to try to listen to the real question next time. and not get upset when they ask over and over agian.......I siad i'll try
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